I often receive messages from women who write to me: “I wish I could be like you — having everything under control: home, work, relationships, emotions…“.
But that’s only part of the story.
Yes, thanks to mindfulness and a long personal growth journey (with plenty of stumbles, struggles, and setbacks), I’ve built a solid base of balance and resilience.
I’ve learned to focus 10% on the problem and 90% on the possible solution.
But I also have my difficult moments.
Especially now, with menopause, I go through mood swings — although honestly, “swings” is putting it mildly: at times it feels like I’m on a runaway roller coaster without a seatbelt!
And that’s okay.
Because now I know those moments are necessary. I no longer push them away — I welcome them, knowing they are temporary.
The weight of a thousand roles
Women are so often expected to excel in dozens of roles at once: daughter, partner, colleague, sister, friend, caregiver…
It’s an emotional and mental load with a real cost.
According to Deloitte’s Women @ Work 2024, 1 in 3 women report feeling burned out, and 54% say their stress levels have increased compared to the year before.
The myth of “doing it all and doing it well” is exhausting.
Even more so when we believe we must do it perfectly.
Self-compassion is not weakness — it’s powerful medicine
Mindfulness and self-compassion have been my anchors.
They helped me move from judgment to kindness, from rushing to being present.
They allowed me to say: “I’m doing my best, and that is enough“.
But it didn’t come naturally.
I had to build self-compassion, step by step.
I listened to guided meditations, affirmations, motivational podcasts.
I wrote phrases on post-its and stuck them everywhere: on the mirror, the desk, the kitchen wall.
And slowly, those gentle words became my inner voice. I began to believe them.
Research shows that higher levels of self-compassion significantly reduce burnout and emotional exhaustion — especially in women carrying multiple roles.
Studies on Mindful Self-Compassion confirm its effectiveness among caregivers and professionals.
Self-compassion is an act of courage.
Giving yourself permission to pause
Today, when I feel I’m about to collapse, I allow myself to step back.
I cancel appointments. Wrap myself in a blanket. Cry. Write. Feel.
And I ask for support.
I turn to my soul sister (a coach who’s amazing at “holding space” without judgment). I talk to my husband. I let myself be listened to — not to be fixed, but simply to be held.
And you? Believe it or not, you deserve this too!
Seek someone who can welcome you without judgment: a coach, a therapist, a friend.
Someone who won’t try to “fix” you, or say “I told you so!“, but who can simply be there with you in your feelings.
Conclusion
You don’t have to be a superhero.
You are already enough, exactly as you are.
You have the right to pause. To feel. To not have everything under control.
You have the right to be human.
Personal growth begins here:
- Less pressure
- More love for yourself
- Knowing when and how to ask for help
Let’s start normalizing authenticity, not perfection.
Let’s choose compassion over performance.
Let’s stop pretending, and begin supporting each other.
We are all walking this path — side by side — towards our true selves.
